"I know that that moment marked the end of innocence..."

Ok so I really wanted to post a new blog and started writing a really long post and it got backspaced-deleted.  I'm going to share this quote that I can relate to on a very personal level.  I fell in love with it sophomore year in high school.  It's from a short story "Marigolds" by Eugenia Collier.  I forgot what the short story was about so i read a quick synopses on wikipedia (i know, bad source).  


The story takes place in a Depression-era town.  Lizabeth is the narrator and leader of her friends.  Her and her friends find amusement in in throwing stones at Miss Lottie's (the outcast of the town) flower bed of marigolds.  The marigolds are one of the only things in town with vibrant colors.  One night, Lizabeth overhears her unemployed father crying at the fact that he cannot support his own family.  Before that night, Lizabeth never considered the vulnerability of adults.  The same night, she can't fall asleep so she takes her frustration and angst out on Miss Lottie's marigolds and destroys the whole garden.  It is at the moment her and Miss Lottie look at each other that she says this:


"I know that that moment marked the end of innocence. People think of the loss of innocence as meaning the loss of virginity, but this is far from true. Innocence involves an unseeing acceptance of things at face value, an ignorance of the area below the surface. In that humiliating moment I looked beyond myself and into the depths of another person. This was the beginning of compassion, and one cannot have compassion and innocence." 


I couldn't agree more with this quote.  Innocence is not just freedom from moral wrong, but also a lack of knowledge.  We think "losing innocence" is like losing your virginity.  I know a lot of girls and guys that lost their virginity and are definitely still innocent.  They have their head in the clouds; completely disillusioned about what life is really about.  For them, the world is only what they see.  For them, there is nothing deeper than what's at the surface of a person or event.  That's what the quote says, "an acceptance of things at face value and ignorance of what's below the surface."  That is what innocence is, being completely unaware of anything deeper.


The end of innocence involves seeing and understanding the depths of another person - the feelings and thoughts that are behind a person.  The willingness to understand another's experience; the ability to relate to them without judgement.  That's compassion.  When a person will do anything to alleviate the sorrow and pain of another person.


And you know what, people may call me a "good girl," and I'm not offended, I am offended if you call me innocent.  My loss of innocence happened a long time ago...


Currently appreciating: Sweet Disposition by The Temper Tramp