the sunsets on the roxbury beach
make me really happy.
they feel and look different every day.
i would give anything,
to feel the warmth and coolness
of a summer sunset right now
i made the picture extra large because i love it so much
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
this one is funny. i tend to exaggerate a lot when it comes to marriage and love. i say "we love each other" and "we're getting married" pretty often. soo, there are a lot of guys i'm getting "married" to. it sounds kind of creepy, but it's really not because it's all innocent.
this sounds weird, but there are actually a few people i can see myself marrying. i'm really lucky to have a lot of nice, caring people in my life. there are certain qualities i need in a man. i want to get married, but there is a lot of personal things i need to do first. so even though i'm excited to get married, it's the furthest goal from my mind.
this sounds weird, but there are actually a few people i can see myself marrying. i'm really lucky to have a lot of nice, caring people in my life. there are certain qualities i need in a man. i want to get married, but there is a lot of personal things i need to do first. so even though i'm excited to get married, it's the furthest goal from my mind.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
i love nicknames.
and i have a lot of them. thankfully, i also like all of them. the ones that have stuck are
jo, jojo, josie, and fox
i like jo a lot. it's so cool. anyone who is comfortable with me will use it. it's just a way to shorten my name
jojo is a cute nickname my friends call me sometimes. it's just like a cuter version for "jo"
my uncle calls me josie sometimes. i think it's ok, it just seems a lot different from my original name - josette. but it's fun to play on josie and the pussy cats sometimes
fox.. this originated during winter congress 2008 because ... how do i put this ... boys like talking to me. i'm uncomfortable even writing this lol, if you know me, maybe you'll get it.
and i have a lot of them. thankfully, i also like all of them. the ones that have stuck are
jo, jojo, josie, and fox
i like jo a lot. it's so cool. anyone who is comfortable with me will use it. it's just a way to shorten my name
jojo is a cute nickname my friends call me sometimes. it's just like a cuter version for "jo"
my uncle calls me josie sometimes. i think it's ok, it just seems a lot different from my original name - josette. but it's fun to play on josie and the pussy cats sometimes
fox.. this originated during winter congress 2008 because ... how do i put this ... boys like talking to me. i'm uncomfortable even writing this lol, if you know me, maybe you'll get it.
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
this is a fun one
plans
going out this weekend for halloween
studying for my test monday
reviewing latin because it's kicking my butt
seeing friends that don't go to albany
going home next weekend for my family
dreams
living happily ever after (ew, i know i'm unbelievably romantic)
traveling to every great city around the world
having things back to normal and being easy without all this pain
building my own family
to not live the ordinary life, but extraordinarily
goals
traveling to every great city around the world
graduate college, go to graduate school, get a PhD (i told you, perpetual student)
get a job that i love
find stability and peace within everything i'm given
to stay living in brooklyn
plans
going out this weekend for halloween
studying for my test monday
reviewing latin because it's kicking my butt
seeing friends that don't go to albany
going home next weekend for my family
dreams
living happily ever after (ew, i know i'm unbelievably romantic)
traveling to every great city around the world
having things back to normal and being easy without all this pain
building my own family
to not live the ordinary life, but extraordinarily
goals
traveling to every great city around the world
graduate college, go to graduate school, get a PhD (i told you, perpetual student)
get a job that i love
find stability and peace within everything i'm given
to stay living in brooklyn
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
When i asked one of my friends for ideas with this blog, she said, "prob myself. im happy being me - i know how to do it." and i couldn't agree more. i can't really think of anyone i'd want to be because i'm good at being me. i enjoy the life i live. i wouldn't want to be famous, rich, or poor. sometimes i wish i had this great talent that would just make my life easier, but i also enjoy the natural and many talents i've been given. so, in short, i don't want to switch lives with anyone for a day.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
do guys come with receipts?
disclaimer: don't take this too radically. i'm not talking about prostitutes and in no way trying to degrade the humanity of males. im just trying to be funny. and if you don't get it, it's a giant metaphor
this one, is to all my friends, that find themselves trapped at the end of a bad relationship and my aunts who inspired me to write this family weekend.
when anything is bought, it comes with a receipt. the receipt tells you the price, the time, and location that the object was bought. if there is something wrong with the merchandise, and you want to return it, you must present the receipt to the store as proof that it was bought.
wouldn't it be convenient if guys came with receipts too? that there is some easy and simple way to return them? and, is there some sort of 3 month return policy? are they "irreturnable" after a certain period of time?
well, guys obviously do not come with receipts, but maybe they should........ you enter a store, look around, and all of a sudden, you spot it. the cutest outfit. it caught your eye from across the room and you feel like it's looking right at you too. it's actually screaming "touch me!" you instantly rush over. perfect! they have your size too! you rush to try it on. and, if that isn't fate enough, there are no lines in the dressing room.
the outfit looks great, you decide to buy it because you were so caught in the moment in the dressing room. all of your friends thinks it looks absolutely perfect. it was "made for you". you start to fantasize all the places you can wear the outfit - the club, but also to a family birthday; a barbeque, but also to a restaurant. the outfit seems universal.. not to mention it makes your curves look great.
you're so happy you bought it. probably the best investment you've made this year. and when you show your mom what you bought, she's thrilled. she thinks its just as universal as you do, and loves how well it compliments your curves.
you can't wait to wear it this weekend. you actually play dress up every night because you love putting it on. but, 1 night you realize the hemming isn't as great as you thought. the thread seems like it could unravel after a while, but you ignore it because it seems like a minor problem compared to how much you love the dress and you've already ripped the tags off and made it yours.
weeks go by. the outfit has been washed a few times and the colors have started to fade, but it still fits right and still looks great on, even though it looks a little washed out. every once in a while a button falls off, the zipper gets stuck, and the thread falls through, but you always fix them.
a few months pass, and you just don't get as much enjoyment as wearing it anymore, plus, you don't like the color it's faded too, but for some reason, it still fits great.
you drift away from the outfit .. it's not the color you thought it was and it keeps falling apart, but you don't want to put it in storage and you definitely don't want to give it to someone else. so, might as well see if you can return it .. the tag is off, but you still have the receipt. the store tells you it's been too long, you can't just return it anymore, and the worst part... you realized the outfit was see-through the whole time.
so, what is it about guys that they always just go wrong after a while that you feel like you should return them? the beginning is always wonderful and so fun, you just want to be with them all the time, your mom is even surprised. you can go everywhere with them and always have a great time. the tags have been ripped off and he's yours to keep. and even though there might be a hole or loose thread here and there, it doesn't matter. but what is it about them that after a while, they just seem to be everything you thought they weren't? the color fades, but you still don't care because they still seem right to you..it still fits. it still fits, so you always try to fix them. so what do you do? you're kinda stuck. he doesn't seem right anymore, but you don't want to just pack him away and you don't want anyone else to have him. so what do you do? what do we do?
_____
To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship. ~Doménico Cieri Estrada
this one, is to all my friends, that find themselves trapped at the end of a bad relationship and my aunts who inspired me to write this family weekend.
when anything is bought, it comes with a receipt. the receipt tells you the price, the time, and location that the object was bought. if there is something wrong with the merchandise, and you want to return it, you must present the receipt to the store as proof that it was bought.
wouldn't it be convenient if guys came with receipts too? that there is some easy and simple way to return them? and, is there some sort of 3 month return policy? are they "irreturnable" after a certain period of time?
well, guys obviously do not come with receipts, but maybe they should........ you enter a store, look around, and all of a sudden, you spot it. the cutest outfit. it caught your eye from across the room and you feel like it's looking right at you too. it's actually screaming "touch me!" you instantly rush over. perfect! they have your size too! you rush to try it on. and, if that isn't fate enough, there are no lines in the dressing room.
the outfit looks great, you decide to buy it because you were so caught in the moment in the dressing room. all of your friends thinks it looks absolutely perfect. it was "made for you". you start to fantasize all the places you can wear the outfit - the club, but also to a family birthday; a barbeque, but also to a restaurant. the outfit seems universal.. not to mention it makes your curves look great.
you're so happy you bought it. probably the best investment you've made this year. and when you show your mom what you bought, she's thrilled. she thinks its just as universal as you do, and loves how well it compliments your curves.
you can't wait to wear it this weekend. you actually play dress up every night because you love putting it on. but, 1 night you realize the hemming isn't as great as you thought. the thread seems like it could unravel after a while, but you ignore it because it seems like a minor problem compared to how much you love the dress and you've already ripped the tags off and made it yours.
weeks go by. the outfit has been washed a few times and the colors have started to fade, but it still fits right and still looks great on, even though it looks a little washed out. every once in a while a button falls off, the zipper gets stuck, and the thread falls through, but you always fix them.
a few months pass, and you just don't get as much enjoyment as wearing it anymore, plus, you don't like the color it's faded too, but for some reason, it still fits great.
you drift away from the outfit .. it's not the color you thought it was and it keeps falling apart, but you don't want to put it in storage and you definitely don't want to give it to someone else. so, might as well see if you can return it .. the tag is off, but you still have the receipt. the store tells you it's been too long, you can't just return it anymore, and the worst part... you realized the outfit was see-through the whole time.
so, what is it about guys that they always just go wrong after a while that you feel like you should return them? the beginning is always wonderful and so fun, you just want to be with them all the time, your mom is even surprised. you can go everywhere with them and always have a great time. the tags have been ripped off and he's yours to keep. and even though there might be a hole or loose thread here and there, it doesn't matter. but what is it about them that after a while, they just seem to be everything you thought they weren't? the color fades, but you still don't care because they still seem right to you..it still fits. it still fits, so you always try to fix them. so what do you do? you're kinda stuck. he doesn't seem right anymore, but you don't want to just pack him away and you don't want anyone else to have him. so what do you do? what do we do?
_____
To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship. ~Doménico Cieri Estrada
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
i don't know why they ask me for a picture of myself.. but here it is
note common room in background lol
Monday, October 25, 2010
"If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest."
so up until this summer, i've been in limbo about "what i wanted to be when i grew up." since i've "grown up" this decision has become critical because apparently i need to do something/be something.
when i was little, i wanted to be a dancer or a teacher. every year it switched back and forth from teacher to dancer and dancer to teacher. but, for some reason, when you reach a certain age, you realize some dreams are impractical and unreachable. so i had to stick with the more practical of the 2: teacher.
after reaching 9th grade and realizing the turbulence of teenage years, i no longer wanted to be a teacher so i entered the "i have no idea what i want to do with my life" abyss.
i didn't care that i was floating around the abyss just taking up space because i was in high school, majors and minors and careers didn't matter and i knew i'd eventually figure it out. i floated around psychology, math, political science, economics for a while. but i finally figured it out
my intended majors are philosophy and psychology with a religion minor. why? because i love them all. what can i "do" with THAT? well, here's a little scene from 'across the universe':
Max: Why is it always what will I do? "What will he do", "What will he do," "Oh, my god what will he do", Do, do, do, do, do. Why isn't the issue here who I am?
Uncle Teddy: Because, Maxwell, what you do defines who you are.
Max: No, Uncle Teddy. Who you are defines what you do. Right Jude?
Jude: Well, surely it's not what you do, but the way that you do it
i don't want to have to defend myself for my reasonings behind my majors but i'm going to anyway.
first all, no one knows how to think anymore. philosophy helps me think clearly about everything. there is not one thing philosophy has left unthought about. why wouldn't that help me better myself with whatever i did? especially in a field such as law which was created by great philosophers.
secondly, what better way to be a friend to someone than to go into the field of psychology? psychology helps me how to understand people and how to deal with them. i want to help people through means of psychology.
my religion minor is just because i love religion. have a better reason? it makes sense to me, i don't care if it doesn't make sense to you.
who we are defines what we do (happily, that is). if you do something that is not what you are, you'll be unhappy. but in the end, it's how you do it. in the end, what matters most is doing what you do with pride, dignity, honor, passion, and effort.
i want to major in philosophy and psychology and i've never been so sure in anything else as i am in this. so this is a big fuck you to all those adults out there that badger me doing what i want and love.
when i was little, i wanted to be a dancer or a teacher. every year it switched back and forth from teacher to dancer and dancer to teacher. but, for some reason, when you reach a certain age, you realize some dreams are impractical and unreachable. so i had to stick with the more practical of the 2: teacher.
after reaching 9th grade and realizing the turbulence of teenage years, i no longer wanted to be a teacher so i entered the "i have no idea what i want to do with my life" abyss.
i didn't care that i was floating around the abyss just taking up space because i was in high school, majors and minors and careers didn't matter and i knew i'd eventually figure it out. i floated around psychology, math, political science, economics for a while. but i finally figured it out
my intended majors are philosophy and psychology with a religion minor. why? because i love them all. what can i "do" with THAT? well, here's a little scene from 'across the universe':
Max: Why is it always what will I do? "What will he do", "What will he do," "Oh, my god what will he do", Do, do, do, do, do. Why isn't the issue here who I am?
Uncle Teddy: Because, Maxwell, what you do defines who you are.
Max: No, Uncle Teddy. Who you are defines what you do. Right Jude?
Jude: Well, surely it's not what you do, but the way that you do it
i don't want to have to defend myself for my reasonings behind my majors but i'm going to anyway.
first all, no one knows how to think anymore. philosophy helps me think clearly about everything. there is not one thing philosophy has left unthought about. why wouldn't that help me better myself with whatever i did? especially in a field such as law which was created by great philosophers.
secondly, what better way to be a friend to someone than to go into the field of psychology? psychology helps me how to understand people and how to deal with them. i want to help people through means of psychology.
my religion minor is just because i love religion. have a better reason? it makes sense to me, i don't care if it doesn't make sense to you.
who we are defines what we do (happily, that is). if you do something that is not what you are, you'll be unhappy. but in the end, it's how you do it. in the end, what matters most is doing what you do with pride, dignity, honor, passion, and effort.
i want to major in philosophy and psychology and i've never been so sure in anything else as i am in this. so this is a big fuck you to all those adults out there that badger me doing what i want and love.
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
1. all hail the heartbreaker - spill canvas
2. something's missing - john mayer
3. 1901 - phoenix
4. any way you want it - journey
5. false pretense - red jumpsuit apparatus
6. hit my with your best shot - pat benatar
7. my only swerving - el ten eleven
8. if you want it to be good girl (get yourself a bad boy) - backstreet boys
9. shots - lmfao
10. bye bye bye - n'sync
yup... that pretty much sums up my playlist and life.
2. something's missing - john mayer
3. 1901 - phoenix
4. any way you want it - journey
5. false pretense - red jumpsuit apparatus
6. hit my with your best shot - pat benatar
7. my only swerving - el ten eleven
8. if you want it to be good girl (get yourself a bad boy) - backstreet boys
9. shots - lmfao
10. bye bye bye - n'sync
yup... that pretty much sums up my playlist and life.
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
this is difficult because, lately, i've been a little confused over who my family is, but every day that i lose a family member, i've noticed that i've gained 2 more.
this picture is 2 years old but it was the only one i could find on my computer.
this picture is 2 years old but it was the only one i could find on my computer.
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
you've never hurt me before now. and now, everyday, is painful..a pain deep in my lungs. my lungs have caved in and collapsed and i can't breathe, i can't walk, i can't see. i know you see my pain, but you refuse to believe it because you know it's because of your own selfishness. you've changed, or just reemerged. no one knows why or how. it hurts me that you think everything is okay. you pretend like you're not hurting, but whatever you're feeling, has turned into hatred. you're being stretched too thin, and i'm dreading the day you snap.
i haven't gotten over the pain, i've just become numb to it. nothing you do surprises me anymore - i'm numb to the falsehood, the idiocy, the inconsideration, the craziness. i'm losing you, but you're also losing me. i know wishing things were back to normal is useless and also impossible, but i'd just like for you to be the person you used to be because i'm not sure of the person you are now. i'm not willing to accept the person you are now, and not many people will either.
i don't want you to be alone, for i know loneliness has a tendency to take you over. i've tried to be understanding but it's difficult to understand selfishness and foolishness and i'm running out of patience.
i hope you and i can both snap out of this bad dream soon, otherwise, i'll be gone.
i'm reaping what you've sown.
Day 12- How you found out about blogger and why you made one
i was very turbulent my freshman year of college. so many emotions/thoughts/doubts/frustrations raged through me. i'd always talk to a few close friends about it and one day they said i should just write a blog because i always have so many thoughts. so this is why i have a blog, to talk about how i feel and anyone who cares will read it.
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
i don't know why i needed to add more pics of me and my friends but here are 2 recent pictures from within the week. my 2 friends in these pictures have no correlation with each other, but i have so many friends with no correlation, but also at the same time, many correlations
ashley
jonathan
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
i was supposed to write this about 4 days ago but i didn't feel like it. now i'm behind in blogs and i have to write it now whether i like it or not.
i'm not listing my whole itunes playlist, just a few songs
happy. anything upbeat
sweet disposition - temper tramp
first time - lifehouse
love generation - bob sinclair ... anything bob sinclair
slide - goo goo dolls
love and memories - OAR
drops of jupiter - train
here (in your arms) - hellogoodbye
hotel california - eagles
no such thing - john mayer
semi-charmed life - third eye blind
one love - bob marley
don't stop believin - journey
daylight - matt and kim
ocean avenue - yellowcard
sad.
hey jude - beatles
iris - goo good dolls
happy - leona lewis (irony)
only hope - swtichfoot
teasing to please - cute is what we aim for
ohio is for lovers - hawthorne heights
let me go - 3 doors down
open your eyes - snow patrol
the party scene - all time low
remembering sunday - all time low
black balloon - goo goo dolls
boston - augustana
sugar we're goin down - fall out boy
anything by 30 seconds to mars or imogen heap
bored.
the beatles
techno of all kinds
i'll listen to anything when i'm bored.. because i'm bored.
i feel like some songs i listen to when hyped and mad can be intertwined.....
hyped.
sex on fire - kings of leon
according to you - orianthi
right now - akon
waking up in vegas - katy perry
shots - lmfao
the anthem - pitbull
dj got us fallin in love - usher
dynamite - taio cruz
push push - kat deluna
take it off - ke$ha
took the night - chelley
unstoppable - kat deluna
super girl - saving jane
maneater - nelly furtado
call on me - eric prydz
sexy chick - david guetta
rock this party - bob sinclair
knockout - lil wayne
anything missy elliot, queen, girltalk ... or just rap/hip hop/reggaeton in general
mad.
false pretense - red jumpsuit apparatus
anthem for the underdog - 12 stones
bleed it out - linkin park
blurry - puddle of mud
face down - red jumpsuit apparatus
fighter - christina aguilera
fuck you - lily allen
hate - jay-z
it's my life - bon jovi
obviously anything by eminem
i'm not listing my whole itunes playlist, just a few songs
happy. anything upbeat
sweet disposition - temper tramp
first time - lifehouse
love generation - bob sinclair ... anything bob sinclair
slide - goo goo dolls
love and memories - OAR
drops of jupiter - train
here (in your arms) - hellogoodbye
hotel california - eagles
no such thing - john mayer
semi-charmed life - third eye blind
one love - bob marley
don't stop believin - journey
daylight - matt and kim
ocean avenue - yellowcard
sad.
hey jude - beatles
iris - goo good dolls
happy - leona lewis (irony)
only hope - swtichfoot
teasing to please - cute is what we aim for
ohio is for lovers - hawthorne heights
let me go - 3 doors down
open your eyes - snow patrol
the party scene - all time low
remembering sunday - all time low
black balloon - goo goo dolls
boston - augustana
sugar we're goin down - fall out boy
anything by 30 seconds to mars or imogen heap
bored.
the beatles
techno of all kinds
i'll listen to anything when i'm bored.. because i'm bored.
i feel like some songs i listen to when hyped and mad can be intertwined.....
hyped.
sex on fire - kings of leon
according to you - orianthi
right now - akon
waking up in vegas - katy perry
shots - lmfao
the anthem - pitbull
dj got us fallin in love - usher
dynamite - taio cruz
push push - kat deluna
take it off - ke$ha
took the night - chelley
unstoppable - kat deluna
super girl - saving jane
maneater - nelly furtado
call on me - eric prydz
sexy chick - david guetta
rock this party - bob sinclair
knockout - lil wayne
anything missy elliot, queen, girltalk ... or just rap/hip hop/reggaeton in general
mad.
false pretense - red jumpsuit apparatus
anthem for the underdog - 12 stones
bleed it out - linkin park
blurry - puddle of mud
face down - red jumpsuit apparatus
fighter - christina aguilera
fuck you - lily allen
hate - jay-z
it's my life - bon jovi
obviously anything by eminem
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
edge of desire
this is exactly how i feel right now. thank you once again, john mayer
Young and full of running,
tell me where is that taking me
just a great figure eight
or a tiny infinity.
Love is really nothing
but a dream that keeps waking me.
For all of my trying
we still end up dying;
how can it be?
Don't say a word; just come over and lie here with me
'cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see.
I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe.
There, I just said it; I'm scared you'll forget about me.
So young and full of running
all the way to the edge of desire.
Steady my breathing, silently screaming
I have to have you now.
Wired and I'm tired;
think I'll sleep in my clothes on the floor.
Or maybe this mattress will spin on its axis
and find me on yours.
Don't say a word;just come over and lie here with me
'cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see.
I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe.
There, I just said it; I'm scared you'll forget about me.
Don't say a word;just come over and lie here with me
'cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see.
I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe.
There, I just said it; I'm scared you'll forget about me.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
there is nothing i am particularly proud of in the past few days, but i am proud of how far i've come. i'm proud of the person i am, even though sometimes i stumble a lot. but, i have this bracelet my mom gave me. it says, "when you stumble, make it part of the dance"
Monday, October 18, 2010
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
i didn't really have any short term goals for this month but i guess i'll make some now. goals are good anyway.
1. keep up with my school work. for the most part, i have been, but i'm probably going to be getting a lot more work soon and i just want to keep up with it
2. be in a good mood all the time
3. have a fun halloween
4. take in all the moments of fall semester
5. try to relax more
6. most importantly, try to hold on to something that makes me happy
i really don't have any specific goals, but i guess if i made some, these would be them
1. keep up with my school work. for the most part, i have been, but i'm probably going to be getting a lot more work soon and i just want to keep up with it
2. be in a good mood all the time
3. have a fun halloween
4. take in all the moments of fall semester
5. try to relax more
6. most importantly, try to hold on to something that makes me happy
i really don't have any specific goals, but i guess if i made some, these would be them
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
these day-blogs are becoming really difficult. i think a lot of things have had big impacts on me that has led me to different people that have had impacts one me. but i think if there has been one thing that has had the biggest impact one me, it was my high school.
it's hard for a lot of people to understand the type of high school experience i've had. i went to an all girls, catholic high school. (it's not as bad as it seems...i've written a blog about this before). as much as i HATED everything about it sometimes, it has molded me into the person i like today. as a hill girl, i have a certain identity - an identity to be self-sufficient, self-respecting, dignified, smart, leaders, but also with class (outside of our uniforms). during my time at sjha, i felt like i was opened up to entirely new world, a new way of thinking and a new understanding of things. everything i stood for, was molded and i no longer felt alone in my beliefs. even though my friends and i coming out of there are a minority in comparison to the rest of the world, we know we're a kickass minority.
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
so this one is kind of hard because i'm not familiar enough with super heros to pick a favorite. but if i had to choose, i'd choose superman. superman has powers beyond any mortal man. he can tear shit up. if he wanted, he could easily use his powers to have all the power in the world, all the money he wants, and probably any girl he wanted, too. but the thing about superman, is he doesn't abuse his super powers. he uses them to help others. in fact, he even disguises himself. he doesn't want to be treated differently because he has super powers.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
i've been to a lot of interesting places, so it's hard to choose a place that's better than the other. i'm going to go with a simple and recent place:
dippikill campsite in the adirondack mountains.
dippikill campsite in the adirondack mountains.
it was at the beginning of the semester so none of us were stressing about schoolwork and it was really exciting to get together again and have some albany bonding time...as well as some nature bonding time which is necessary every once in a while
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
i have a lot of habits i wish i didn't have and i don't want to share them with everyone. so i don't know if what i'm about to tell is a habit or not, but it's a trait i wish i could overcome.
i hate that my body language is too easy to read. i crumble easily from embarrassment. i cave in and shut down. when i get nervous or embarrassed i twirl my hair and sometimes blush because i get really warm. i usually look downward and hold my arms close to my chest because maybe i can become invisible if i do that. then i become really quiet and extra awkward.
i just fall apart at anything that makes me uncomfortable. i can't handle it. i wish i cold have a little more backbone and just not care.
i hate that my body language is too easy to read. i crumble easily from embarrassment. i cave in and shut down. when i get nervous or embarrassed i twirl my hair and sometimes blush because i get really warm. i usually look downward and hold my arms close to my chest because maybe i can become invisible if i do that. then i become really quiet and extra awkward.
i just fall apart at anything that makes me uncomfortable. i can't handle it. i wish i cold have a little more backbone and just not care.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
i really like this day because i really love my friends. okay, no that's understatement.. i actually have an unhealthy obsession with them. i think they are the best groups of people in the world, because honestly, if they weren't, i really wouldn't be friends with them.
i have a lot of different groups of friends that are all my best friends....
this is them. we're fucking awesome.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name
i stole this title, do you feel, from a rocket summer song. on the surface, it sounds happy and upbeat, but it's actually a pretty meaningful song...sort of like me
do YOU feel. do you feel pain, passion, happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, compassion, bliss? do you feel anything? i want to see your passion, your anger, your sadness, your happiness.
I'm thinking about other things I heard about today
All this week and tomorrow
And how these hands can create some better things for bettering
but you see for now I got my own things
I can't help it
I got too many issues I own
So I cannot help I'm afraid, yeah
But keep on preaching, preaching and heal the world
Lip service makes us look great
Do you feel
The weight of the world singing sorrow
Or to you is it just not real
Cause you got your own things
Yeah we all have our things I guess
I guess my mind wanders off
from time to time
Sometimes I convince myself
that all is fine in the world
It's not mine
Why should I
have to try
to fix things I didn't create or contrive
Do you feel
The weight of the world singing sorrow
Or to you is it just not real
Cause you got your own things
Yeah we all have so many things
Have the habits
Had you
Has it been for long
Can you feel the souls behind what's going on
Do you feel
The weight of the world singing sorrow
Or to you is it just not real
Cause you got your own things
Yeah we all have our things
Do you feel
The weight of the world singing sorrow
Or to you is it just not real
Cause you got your things
Yeah we all so many things
And I can't get past these things
do YOU feel. do you feel pain, passion, happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, compassion, bliss? do you feel anything? i want to see your passion, your anger, your sadness, your happiness.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
hai. here we go with this month long project. i'll state some facts, but i can't promise that they will interest you. my "recent pic" is going to be the same as my blog pic because i don't care and it's kinda creepy
1. i'm hard to define. i find myself being a contradiction (not a hypocrite) often.
2. my major is philosophy and psychology with a religion minor. thinking is a hobby of mine
3. i love to travel because i love everything that comes with it: people, culture, experience, learning, and especially the feeling of being so tired, yet so alive
4. i care about the little things way more than the big things. i care about the littlest things that make me happy and show thought and appreciation, but the littlest things could bother me if it shows me disrespect or inconsideration.
5. i love school. i want to sit in a classroom forever.
6. in fact, my two dream jobs would be to become a professional student or to be friends with everyone in the world. i'm probably on my way to achieving both.
7. i am surrounded by the most beautiful family and friends.
8. i love the beach. ask anyone who knows me at all. i love the sand (unlike most people) and the water (even though the ocean scares me).
9. i might like to dance. i'll do it anywhere, all the time, whenever music is around.
10. i eat, breathe, sleep, live for THEE city, new york city. i believe it's the best place in the world before brooklyn and roxbury.
11. my favorite foods are french fries, pizza, and sandwiches. i think i can live off of them.
12. i like sports a lot, but i don't follow professional or college sports. i'll just watch the big games. my favorite sport is soccer
13. i'm really cautious
14. i have an old soul
15. i secretly wish i was in a rock band, but the kind of rock bands from the 80s.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
30 days
so i stole this idea from this awesome blogger friend of mine (http://sophiewhalen-northcountrygirl.blogspot.com/2010_07_01_archive.html). i think it's a good idea and you probably won't be as interested in reading about me as i am interested in writing it, but i think it's a good idea to do this for myself.
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned?
Day 30- Who are you?
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned?
Day 30- Who are you?
my family
so it's family weekend up at albany. my family is not here (they're coming tomorrow) and i am the only one in my suite right now. i feel sort of lonely but just thinking about my family really warms me. so here's to us. (disclaimer: overwhelming corniness and deepness. my family is not perfect. we're a bunch of rugrats, but i chose to highlight the better part)
i've always been really fond of 'family' but especially my family. i always knew that we were kinda different from most families because if everyone had a family like mine, the world would be such a better place.
i don't know what it is, but there is something so innocent and pure about my family. innocent and pure in a selfless sense because any impure person cannot be selfless. a family of a higher innocence because it involves knowledge. knowledge of pain and compassion. an understanding knowledge. a family of pureness because we believe in acceptance. acceptance of one another's pain and past. but also generous and honest because we want to share one another's pain and past. it would never matter whatever mountain we need to clime, or whatever plane/train/highway we need to take, in order to make the other happy.
i'm blessed because i don't just have an immediate family who feels this way, but i have this huge extended family of beautiful strangers that just kinda filled up any natural gaps left open in my immediate family. they too, travel highway distances just to hang out. and at the click of a phone call, they are immediately understanding, selfless, and generous just out of love.
not only is my family awesome in its capacity to love, but there's also a purity and remedy in the way that they can make me laugh. there is purity and freedom in laughter, but there is nothing like a family laughter. at those moments of laughter, all you see and feel is one another's smile. it warms your whole body to believe that life is good.
i've always been really fond of 'family' but especially my family. i always knew that we were kinda different from most families because if everyone had a family like mine, the world would be such a better place.
i don't know what it is, but there is something so innocent and pure about my family. innocent and pure in a selfless sense because any impure person cannot be selfless. a family of a higher innocence because it involves knowledge. knowledge of pain and compassion. an understanding knowledge. a family of pureness because we believe in acceptance. acceptance of one another's pain and past. but also generous and honest because we want to share one another's pain and past. it would never matter whatever mountain we need to clime, or whatever plane/train/highway we need to take, in order to make the other happy.
i'm blessed because i don't just have an immediate family who feels this way, but i have this huge extended family of beautiful strangers that just kinda filled up any natural gaps left open in my immediate family. they too, travel highway distances just to hang out. and at the click of a phone call, they are immediately understanding, selfless, and generous just out of love.
not only is my family awesome in its capacity to love, but there's also a purity and remedy in the way that they can make me laugh. there is purity and freedom in laughter, but there is nothing like a family laughter. at those moments of laughter, all you see and feel is one another's smile. it warms your whole body to believe that life is good.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
what's the worst thing in the world
i'm a little morbid, but not really. this will turn out positive some way ...
fran, this is for you girl
(also, a lot of this is pretty general but i'm not writing a thesis paper, i'm just thinking online)
pain & baggage. we all have it. some have heavier loads than others. some are strong enough to carry it, others let some things out here and there that they don't need anymore, and others.... have it all over the place because they just can't keep it controlled. it just explodes from the zippers like those travelers who have luggage that's over 50 pounds and have to throw their clothes all over the airport.
like i said, everyone feels pain. you're not special if you do. if you feel alone, so does everyone else. and when you are crying "poor me" so is the person next to you. i know i sound hard right now, i know pain too, and that's why i try to help those i love the best way i can. but this is part of my blog.
i guess i've had some time to think about "what's worse" because since i've been struggling lately, i've gotten "it could be worse." yes, it could be a lot worse actually, but that doesn't take away how shitty i feel. actually, i feel like i'm in a car accident every other day, you tell me what's worse? feeling like your constantly being thrown against the wall. pain is pain. but, what really is this "worse"? death? sickness? loss of something? loneliness? abandonment? abuse? failure?
well, i think this can all be put under a category of love. for some reason, love turns humans upside down and inside out. it can make them go completely mad; confuses the shit out of them. it builds them up, and tears them apart until they are left with nothing. we, as people, are consumed by love. we're always thinking about it in some way. but, i still love love because as crazy as it makes us, it also brings us the greatest high we can ever feel in our lives. so, this is me, saying that a loss of love, is the worst thing in the world.
death is one of the worst things in the world because we lose the ones we love. sickness scares us because we are scared we will lose someone we love. loneliness comes in when we feel abandoned by someone we love or there is not enough love in our lives. abuse wouldn't hurt so much if we didn't love. some sadness, i know, cannot always be explained.
if you truly believe, like me, that love is one of the greatest things in the entire history of the universe (along with maybe L&B spumoni garden's, nyc, and roxbury), then how can you argue that losing love is not one of the worst things in the world? having that on-top-of-the-world, i-can-move-mountains feeling being taken away from you? one of my favorite lyrics comes from a spill canvas song. he says "they just can't understand, how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends" ....
this is such a weak conclusion and eventually i'll write about handling pain, but basically, i just want everyone in the world and all of my friends to be in love and indefinitely happy. but that's just me being an extreme romantic
fran, this is for you girl
(also, a lot of this is pretty general but i'm not writing a thesis paper, i'm just thinking online)
pain & baggage. we all have it. some have heavier loads than others. some are strong enough to carry it, others let some things out here and there that they don't need anymore, and others.... have it all over the place because they just can't keep it controlled. it just explodes from the zippers like those travelers who have luggage that's over 50 pounds and have to throw their clothes all over the airport.
like i said, everyone feels pain. you're not special if you do. if you feel alone, so does everyone else. and when you are crying "poor me" so is the person next to you. i know i sound hard right now, i know pain too, and that's why i try to help those i love the best way i can. but this is part of my blog.
i guess i've had some time to think about "what's worse" because since i've been struggling lately, i've gotten "it could be worse." yes, it could be a lot worse actually, but that doesn't take away how shitty i feel. actually, i feel like i'm in a car accident every other day, you tell me what's worse? feeling like your constantly being thrown against the wall. pain is pain. but, what really is this "worse"? death? sickness? loss of something? loneliness? abandonment? abuse? failure?
well, i think this can all be put under a category of love. for some reason, love turns humans upside down and inside out. it can make them go completely mad; confuses the shit out of them. it builds them up, and tears them apart until they are left with nothing. we, as people, are consumed by love. we're always thinking about it in some way. but, i still love love because as crazy as it makes us, it also brings us the greatest high we can ever feel in our lives. so, this is me, saying that a loss of love, is the worst thing in the world.
death is one of the worst things in the world because we lose the ones we love. sickness scares us because we are scared we will lose someone we love. loneliness comes in when we feel abandoned by someone we love or there is not enough love in our lives. abuse wouldn't hurt so much if we didn't love. some sadness, i know, cannot always be explained.
if you truly believe, like me, that love is one of the greatest things in the entire history of the universe (along with maybe L&B spumoni garden's, nyc, and roxbury), then how can you argue that losing love is not one of the worst things in the world? having that on-top-of-the-world, i-can-move-mountains feeling being taken away from you? one of my favorite lyrics comes from a spill canvas song. he says "they just can't understand, how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends" ....
this is such a weak conclusion and eventually i'll write about handling pain, but basically, i just want everyone in the world and all of my friends to be in love and indefinitely happy. but that's just me being an extreme romantic
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