do guys come with receipts?

disclaimer: don't take this too radically.  i'm not talking about prostitutes and in no way trying to degrade the humanity of males.  im just trying to be funny.  and if you don't get it, it's a giant metaphor

this one, is to all my friends, that find themselves trapped at the end of a bad relationship and my aunts who inspired me to write this family weekend.


when anything is bought, it comes with a receipt.  the receipt tells you the price, the time, and location that the object was bought.  if there is something wrong with the merchandise, and you want to return it, you must present the receipt to the store as proof that it was bought.


wouldn't it be convenient if guys came with receipts too?  that there is some easy and simple way to return them? and, is there some sort of 3 month return policy?  are they "irreturnable" after a certain period of time?  


well, guys obviously do not come with receipts, but maybe they should........  you enter a store, look around, and all of a sudden, you spot it.  the cutest outfit.  it caught your eye from across the room and you feel like it's looking right at you too.  it's actually screaming "touch me!"  you instantly rush over.  perfect! they have your size too!  you rush to try it on.  and, if that isn't fate enough, there are no lines in the dressing room. 


the outfit looks great, you decide to buy it because you were so caught in the moment in the dressing room.  all of your friends thinks it looks absolutely perfect. it was "made for you".  you start to fantasize all the places you can wear the outfit - the club, but also to a family birthday; a barbeque, but also to a restaurant.  the outfit seems universal.. not to mention it makes your curves look great.


you're so happy you bought it.  probably the best investment you've made this year.  and when you show your mom what you bought, she's thrilled.  she thinks its just as universal as you do, and loves how well it compliments your curves.


you can't wait to wear it this weekend.  you actually play dress up every night because you love putting it on. but, 1 night you realize the hemming isn't as great as you thought.  the thread seems like it could unravel after a while, but you ignore it because it seems like a minor problem compared to how much you love the dress and you've already ripped the tags off and made it yours.


weeks go by.  the outfit has been washed a few times and the colors have started to fade, but it still fits right and still looks great on, even though it looks a little washed out.  every once in a while a button falls off, the zipper gets stuck, and the thread falls through, but you always fix them.  


a few months pass, and you just don't get as much enjoyment as wearing it anymore, plus, you don't like the color it's faded too, but for some reason, it still fits great.


you drift away from the outfit .. it's not the color you thought it was and it keeps falling apart, but you don't want to put it in storage and you definitely don't want to give it to someone else.  so, might as well see if you can return it .. the tag is off, but you still have the receipt.  the store tells you it's been too long, you can't just return it anymore, and the worst part... you realized the outfit was see-through the whole time.  


so, what is it about guys that they always just go wrong after a while that you feel like you should return them?  the beginning is always wonderful and so fun, you just want to be with them all the time, your mom is even surprised.  you can go everywhere with them and always have a great time.  the tags have been ripped off and he's yours to keep.  and even though there might be a hole or loose thread here and there, it doesn't matter.  but what is it about them that after a while, they just seem to be everything you thought they weren't?  the color fades, but you still don't care because they still seem right to you..it still fits.  it still fits, so you always try to fix them.  so what do you do? you're kinda stuck.  he doesn't seem right anymore, but you don't want to just pack him away and you don't want anyone else to have him.  so what do you do?  what do we do?






_____




To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.  ~Doménico Cieri Estrada