we bleed just to know we're alive.

this week has been rough.  my blog will prove so. (and thank you philosophy class)

so about this life.  yeah, it's obviously "hard".  what "hard" entails, i really don't know.  there aren't really specifics.  i guess it's a nice way to say that everyone feels pain.  and it's also obvious that everyone struggles.  one's struggle is not harder than the other's.  everyone that struggles feels the same way - pain.  

but how necessary is this pain? what does it prove? that we're real?

i would have to believe that some struggling is necessary.  like struggling to get a good grade in school or to get a higher job position or to become better at a skill or hobby.  yes, these are all things worth while to struggle for because it builds character.  it makes you work for something.  in this case, there is a positive outcome to struggling.

but, the struggling i'm referring to is the unnecessary curve balls that life throws at you.  the uncontrollable curve balls that hit you hard.  is famine, poverty, sickness, unavoidable loneliness, and death necessary? maybe.  maybe it tries to show as how valuable life really is.  but, i feel as though the effects of these things are a waste of time.  it is hard to overcome these feats without being sad or depressed.  and, it is hard to value life when sad.  so when these "life-is-fleeting" lessons hit us, we're too sad to appreciate life.  you can do all the activities you want, but it is very hard to see all the goodness when blinded by sadness.

i don't know.  maybe i'm just sad and i don't like it.  but in order for my theory to work, we'd have to make humanity inhumane.  eliminate emotions.  eliminate all human connections. but, without emotions, what is humanity? as the goo goo dolls say, we bleed just to know we're alive. but that's it?  we just suffer to know happiness? because happiness is harder to achieve?